Frozen Insanity (author: Heretic al-Taneli).



Picturies by Heretic al-Taneli.





1.


Two beasts was sitting in the piratic tavern at the table where were two grog mugs. The first was old pirate weasel completely coated with a scars. In place of his tail was short stump crocked in a rag. His clothes were old and dirty frazzles. In his left ear was an earring. Some time ago it was shining but now it was bent and dim. The second beast was a taupe stoat. He was much younger than his interlocutor and had more beautiful clothes. Over a simple light-green tunic he wore a rifle-green piratic caftan with a golden buttons. Behind stoat's back were two criss-cross bound swords which had carved grips.
- It was a nice float, Taneli! - said the old pirate hoarsely and raised his mug. - Loads of slaves and our holds are full of loot!
After saying this weasel sip a good deal of grog from his mug. But Taneli didn't repeat his actions. He just tasted grog frowned and said quietly:
- Yeah, I agree. Hope our future raids will be lucky, too.
- You bet, my brother! Eh, sometimes I really miss the times when I floated on "Black Seagull"...
Taneli gravely sigh. Of course, captain Tailless is a good mate to whom you always can rely on. And Taneli wasn't bad altogether. He could be tolerant of almost everything. But there was one thing he hated completely: when his comrade starting to remember his past. If he only said something like "Ah, in former times we..." or "It happened when..." Taneli suddenly cease to perceive reality and just sat with an empty look and occasionally nodded his head. While Taneli was listening Tailless's nictalgic speech he started to remember his own past about which he prefered not to talk. His birthplace was quite calm and soft south lands. Taneli newer knew his father. Sometimes he asked his mother Anika about him but he knew nothing from her. Anika didn't like to speak about it. All that Taneli knew is that his father's name was Badrang. Is he alive, where he had gone and where's he right now - he didn't know. Sometimes Taneli thought of trying to find Badrang and even just to talk to him but it was just Taneli's reflections. "Why? - asked him in such moment his voice of reason. - You've never seen him and what would you do if you find him? Say something like "Hello, daddy"? It's nobly but silly." Then Taneli dreamt about how cool he and his father could float together, terrified peaceful beasts and plundered merchant ships. This dreams was almost the most important thing in Taneli's life.
- ...and how cool we've floated with Badrang! He wasn't stoat - he was a devil, sly, furious and smart. Even I was a bit afraid of him.
Acquaintance name shot Taneli's hearsay like a knife. He even jumped on his lame table. His eyes shined with a bit wild shine:
- Badrang? You know him?
Tailless looked a Taneli with a bewilderment:
- Who even doesn't know him, brother? He was a legend alive to us. He's cruel. Even for pirate. If he needs something - he can break himself in the griddle-cake - but take what he needs. Eh, I still feel remorse that our ships had dispersed. Badrang floated to the northwest and I've decided to stay here.
Taneli leaned forward interested:
- And why hadn't you followed him?
- He hadn't invited me. And I hadn't wanted to impose. Badrang could push the blade into your back if he thought that you prevents him.
- So, he's now at the northwest? - Taneli turned the dialogue to onet topic. - Can you... "This is your chance! - thought young stoat. - Enough to dream, it's time to act!" - "And maybe not? - asked Taneli this voice of reason that always dissuaded him from searching Badrang. - Your pa won't be glad to see you. He'd think that you wanna sit on his neck".
Even half a minute Taneli sorely struggled with himself and nervously bit his lip. But soon a passion to adventures and the wish of implementation his old hream took precedence over the feeling that stoat called "common sense".
- Can you give me a map of this terrain? - finished Taneli his question.
- No question, Taneli! Let's come to my ship and try to find this damned map.
Taneli standed up touched up his swords and went behind Tailless. At this moment he couldn't think about anything exept future searching of his father.
When Taneli will arrive to the northwest he'll find Badrang's ship and try to talk to him. In ideal case they'll agree and Taneli and Badrang will unite their forces. They'll be a horror of northwest, a legends alive, every peaceful beast will be afraid of them! And if they won't agree? Here Taneli thought that his ability to find understanding with almost every beast will help him. And why he couldn't agree with his own fater? Everything must be OK!
On the dock Tailless suddenly stopped:
- By the way, Taneli, why do you so much interested in Badrang? You were familiar?
Taneli felt cold. He didn't expect such question. It was like a strike from behind to him.
- Yes... and no, - he answered overnight hoarsely. - I don't wanna tell about it.
But Tailless was bursting with curiosity:
- No way, brother! Said "a" so said "b". You floated with Badrang together sometime and then shouted match to the nines?
- It's worse, - said Taneli mournfully.
- So what's then? - Tailless pointed at the rope staircase - You go first, I behind you. Taneli started to climb on the board of Tailless's ship.
- He's my father, - answered stoat without riskind to look in the old captain's eyes. From this words Tailless nearly fell off from the dock into the sea. - Heigh Badrang ah yes well done! He even had a children but didn't tell me anything about it! You know, Taneli, he has such trait: he speaks many but all on the case... but he never told about himself! When he had to do it, eh?
Taneli sigh with a relief. Somehow he thought that every beast will hate him if he tells about his origin.
- Wou wanna to hear again about my age and home? I told about it almost one hundred times.
- Don't pay attention to me, Taneli, I just wonder you father. What a sly dog is he!..
Taneli and Tailless went up th the board of "Sea Claw" - that was name of weasel captain's ship.
- Wait me here, I'll bring you the map!
Taneli sat on the board of the ship and started to look at the sea. He still didn't qiute understand how really he became a pirate. After his mother's death Taneli have bought a small ship and went floating. His adventuruos nature wanted experiences. And soon he had found them: on the one shore when he landed to fill the stocks he found an old rat pirate who asked him to send a parcel to his old friend. Young stoat didn't see in this request anything onerous and went to the island that old pirate indicated to him. On this island Taneli first time have met Tailless. Between an old pirate weasel and young stoat adventurer struck up something like friendship. And shortly Taneli and Tailless made their first common raid on a lone dealer's ship. There Taneli realised that the pirate craft is dirty but it draws him! Draws by constant fear, excitement, greed of catch. After a shot period of time Taneli got his own reputation among pirates - they thought about him like about smart but hot-blooded beast who could help in almost every case. Taneli had his own galley with a slaves and big stock of wealth. As weapon Taneli had chosen two swords. In the battle he could fight two at once but this Taneli's way of fight wasn't rather good. The stoat liked the luxury but didn't like when there's loads of it. He wore simple clothes for the pirate captain but the grips of his swords were beautiful. They were made in a shape of bony clawed paws and on the top of them dimly shined black gemstones - tourmalines. So even without blades Taneli's swordw were dangerous.
- Here's your map, - he heard from somewhere in the side.
Taneli whirled and saw Tailless who hold apropos clean piece of parchment. The old captain waited when Taneli will come closer to him and started to explain:
- This is the northwest coast. It's quite clean, no rocks or corals. You're able to get there without troubles. But if I were you I wouldn't float here.
- Why?
- Forgive me, Taneli, but the beasts like Badrang don't last long. Soon or later somebody kills them. No-no, don't think that I wanna croak Badrand - I always respected him - but the risk that you won't find anybody, is high.
- So what? - said Taneli. - Then I'll just enjoy swimming. I'm completely free now. And I wanna look other shores. I don't want to spend all my life in the same stew.
Tailless sigh:
- You right, brother. So, have a good swimming and give Badrang a hello from me! Somehow the last phrase instilled a confidence in Taneli. He went down by a rope ladder and fastly went to his ship which was called "Slaughterer".

2.


Autumn was coming to end but the weather was no less sever than in the middle of winter. Reedy and strong wind was blowing apart one-mast galley which floated to the northwest coast. Its mast, desk, rolled sail, rescue boat was covered with icicles. High waves continually brought down the rain of foam sprays on the desk. This sprays froze in the air and pounded like a hail the cold wet boards. But it was nothing for Taneli, the captain of this ship. For many hours he was staying on the bow of the ship and tried to find an earth through high waves and the fog. He even didn't know if it's night or day. Icy sprays lashed his snout like a whip.
Stoat touched up the hood of his cape and wiped by a back side of a paw the tears which appeared because of wind. "You need to sleep, - thought Taneli, - you're staying so for a long time". But his sense of responsibility which pushed him not for the first time for such actions didn't allow him to leave his "post". So Taneli again started to remember. From that day when Taneli had met Tailless in the tavern and decided to search his father, Badrang, almost two seasons has passed. Originally Taneli thought that he could arrive to the northwest coast to the end of summer but Taneli's ship got a shell-hole. So Taneli was need to stay and wait when "Slaughterer" will be repaired. Then ship went off course. And then Taneli was forced to make stops because of wind which not always blew un a right direction and Taneli's slaves after the last mounths were completely tired. Suddenly something dark appeared on horizon. "Land? - thought Taneli. - It's impossible!" But it was possible.
- The land is straight ahead, captain! Above five minutes we'll wharf to the northwest coast! - heard Taneli a cry from the forward-mast.
Taneli's thin lips around which was fur covered with ice lightly smiled. He took off from the back one of his swords with carved grip and went down on galley.
Almost from the moment when the weather became colder slaves rowed without any rest. Even when wind hurried "Slaughterer" Taneli commanded to lay to the oars because he wanted to arrive to the northwest coast so fast as he could. He never thought about these poor beasts whom he catched. In this way Taneli was similar to his fater whom he never knew: both of them get what they want no matter what the cost.
- Someone is coming, - told young otter almost enfeebled.
- Maybe they'll give us food?
- Food? What food? As I know captain of this ship don't relax and don't let relax to others. One of the hedgehogs stopped rowing:
- When do even we sail?
Slaves was so absorben in this dialogue that hadn't seen Taneli who stayed near the door and relied on his sword:
- Why did you stopped, bastards? Continue! Tell some more how stupid am I or something like this! Tap my crew to mutiny! Or you just can machinate behind me?!
Sometime Taneli's eyes shined with anger but stoat shortly raged himself out. He was too hot -blooded but state of hatred of everything passed as quickly as it began. Taneli got his wind and poked his sword in the chest of one squirrel slave:
- Lay to oars. The land is near.
Taneli looked to the right when was a sleeping ferret overlooker. Slaves thought that Taneli will be angry again but he calmly woked ferret up and said:
- Watch them to keep rowing at the limit of their powers. If they rebel, I allow you to kill couple of their friends. I know, this forest bastards will do everything for their comrades. Taneli's cape was covered with an icy crust when he was outside. In the warmth which was on the ship this crust melt so Taneli looked like he had a bath. He turned to the slaves back and went back to desk leaving a wide wet scent behind him.
The overlooker took his lash:
- Did you hear what captain said? Start working you lazy!
But the slaves continued talking quitely:
- Have you seen it? It looks like our captain's "roof" bye-bye.
The shore was near. It was possible to see the line of surf, lonely seagulls sitting on the shore and frozen seawand lying on the sand. On the beach waves stopped sweeping the ship wind became quiter. But suddenly "Slaughterer" losened the sant with its keel. Some stock compassionately cracked under it.
Before going down to the shore Taneli had a look on it. Not so far from "Slaughterer" was a black carcass of a ship.
- You think this is Badrang's, skipper? - asked Taneli Blackpaw, his assistant.
Taneli looked at the rat with an empty eyes. They always became empty when Taneli immersed in his thoughts.
- Don't know, so I'll make sure. When we rapaired "Slaughterer" I remember that I've asked does my father's ship has some bright signs. And somebody said me that the keel of Badrang's ship has an iron pin.
Blackpaw looked surprized:
- And for what does he needs it?
- For ram the dealers, - Taneli grinned.
Taneli wrapped in his cape more tightly dropped a rope ladder and started to go down to the shore.
His paws felt cold. Wet frozen send stuck Taneli's fur and pads. The wind was still too squally. Taneli came closer to the carcass of the ship squinting.
"It's useless to shout somebody: no one used this put at least for one season", - noticed Taneli. For the time it stayed on the northwest coast ship banked. His bottom was in the sand. Torn sail flying ominously. In the collars was holes mast was like a broken stick. It was only one ability to know was it Badrang's ship. Taneli went to the keel of abandoned ship and started to rake wet sand with his back paw.
It was really hard. As you know, wet sand becomes more heavy and denser. If Taneli did it with his forepaws he could finish this work quicker. But he hated when his forepaws was dirty.
Suddenly Taneli's paw ran on something sharp. He bit his lip because of pain and slope to see what he had ran on. He again felt an anger hor himself and his injured paw. But his anger suddenly went away when Taneli saw what damaged his paw. It was a wet of sand iron pin. Rust didn't even touch the formidable weapon of Badrang's ship. Taneli's mood changed very quickly. His happines replaced by dismay and powerless fury. Dismay for it may was a battle on Badrang's ship, fury for Taneli's own bad luck. But stoat didn't want to believe his father is dead. Through the hole in the boards Taneli went on galley.
Nothing was mentioned that the slaves freed. Chains was intact, there was no blood. Taneli knew a bit forest beasts: they always helped each other. And if they caught Badrang's ship at first they make other slaves free. But suddenly Taneli thought: and what if his father was killed by other pirates?
Taneli went to cabins by a half-destroyed stairs. In the cabins was chaos and squalor but not devastation. There was no personal things of a crew in the cabins. There was only one option: Badrang and his band went to the shore. Why? It was unknown for Taneli. Maybe Badrang has decided to stop being a pirate. And maybe he wanted to plunder on the land. The second variant was mostly prefered.
Taneli laft the abandonet ship and went to his own. In his head thought about Badrang, what he's doing now and will be he glad to see Taneli appeared and disappeared one by one.
- Skipper! Is there at least someone? - shouted from "Slaughterer".
Taneli squinted: one of the few splashes of foam which came to the coast, hit him an eye.
- No! It looks like they went to the shore!
Sometime there was a silence on the "Slaughterer". Then other pirate asked:
- So what we'll do? Float away?
- If you want - float! I'll continue searching Badrang.
- Skipper! - heard Taneli Blackpaw's vioce. - We're right behind you!
Taneli smiled. The best way to make beasts do everything for you it's just tell them that they must do contrary. It was not the first time when this easy trick breakdowns.
- Allright! - cried stoat. - Take all your dud. We'll go in the forest. This forest beasts must know where's my father now!
All desk suddenly recovered. Every pirate wanted to take all his stuff. And just Taneli didn't go for his one. Everything he needed - his swords, clothes and maps - he had with himself always. For all time that Taneli was floating on "Slaughterer" he didn't bring any cherished things in his cabin. He didn't had even ship's journal because he thought that his memory won't let him down ever.
- And don't forget to take the slaves! - shouted Taneli again.

3.


- Leaflet, stop running away from me! - lectured mother otter her son. - You know that going away froom Noonvale is dangerous!
Little otter who ran away from his home many times even this sprind didn't listen his mother's lamentations. He was very wayward little beast.
- You can't behave like that? Have you heard what had Urran Wo said about the east coast?
- Mom, I'm not a child! - murmured Leaflet. - And the east coast is far away from here. And if they come here I win'l allow them to catch me! - shouted he happily and ran in the forest. His mother Blueyes wearily looked after her son. "He'll come back, - calm she down herself. - Where he has to go away?"
Leaflet ran forward enjoying the middle of a spring - his favourite season. He swished with his stick into all sides imaging that the stick is a sword and around him are loads of enemies.
But when he killed the next imaginary enemy he heard differend voices. The beasts behind the bushed was arguing about something.
- So maybe you'll lead us if you're so clever?! - said one of them with an anger.
All Leaflet's joviality suddenly disappeared when he heard this voice. No, it was quite nice voice - a bit rusty but still melodic. But the beast was talking with a such fury that Leaflet felt in even on a distance. Little otter pushed a bit the bushes to see what was happening behind them.
He saw a small glade where were loads of differend beasts like rats, ferrets, weasels. All Leaflet's mother Blueyes, Urran Wo, all Noonvale inhabitants - told about such beasts only one thing: is's better to staw away from them. Only yesterday Urran Wo was talking about a slave holder stoat who builds his fortress on the east coast. Suddenly Leaflet felt cold when he saw the only stoat on the glade. He was pressing young but thin rat to the ground with his back paw. In his forepaw he had a sword with a carved grip. The second sword was the same with the first one and was fixed in a sheath behind stoat's back. "Is it this one from the east?" - thought little otter fright. Urran Wo said that the stoat from east was the only stoat in his gang, too.
And the wrangle on the meadow was continuing. Rat tried to move away stoat's paw from his neck but the stoat was stronger.
- Ta... neli... I... didn't say... agrhh... this!
- And who was droning all the mornint that we're lost and it's my fault when three of us was frozen to death in winter? You don't wanna tell this to my face, Sneak?!
- Skipper... you've understood me wrong! Cap...
For a moment Leaflet's eyes met with stoat's whoes name Leaflet didn't understand. In brown eyes of vulture was rage.
- Ah, that's how you sang when it's getting hot! "Oh, stupid Taneli, he can't understand you, favourites"! So go away to you "favourites" you desk trash!
Leaflet didn't understand how has Taneli done this. He thought that his sword was far from rat's neck when Taneli swung in but when stoat leanet on his sword like on the cane rat's head rolled in the grass. Taneli wiped his sword on a grass:
- Is there anybody else who doesn't like how I'm leading you?
Everybody was silent. Then Taneli went to the bushes when Leaflet was overhearing them.
Little otter held his breath but the slayed didn't see him and continued his speech:
- I never hide anything from you. Yes, even I don't know where's Badrang now. Nay, I don't even know where we are. But I'm doing everything I can.
"Badrang? Urran Wo yesterday was speaking about him! - thought Leaflet. - Why do they need this fiend?" And Taneli still couldn't stop:
- Do you see Sneak? And what he had got? All of you are just pile of crap which will always have the same opinion with the strongest, not your own! - went off taneli pushed his paw into bushes and pulled Leaflet away.
Leaflet was really scared! A couple of minutes ago this Taneli killed the member of his gang with a hot blood. So he can kill even a helpless little otter!
- I didn't do anything! - told Leaflet plaintively. - I was just walking here!
- Shut up! - barked a young stoat. - I don't wanna unnecessary victims but it you shout so loud I'll go against my breast!
Taneli's blowout left hin quickly. He took a deep breath put his sword into sheath and weakend his grip:
- Hell, forgive me. Sometimes my nerves are acting up. I really don't wanna kill you. I just need to talk with someone adult.
Leafled cheered:
- I'll lead you to Noonvale! Follow me!
"What a fool, - thought Taneli folowwing his little escort. -He's so naive that decided to show the slayer and pirate the way to his house".
Blueyes was almost despaired to find her son but suddenly somebody nipped her skirt.
- Oh! - she said.
- See, mom, I'm okay!
- Good morning, madame, - said the unknown voice. - I'm sorry for delaying your son but I was really need to know something important.
When Blueyes saw taneli she bared her teeth:
- Go away, stoat! Leaflet is just a child! What did you need to know from him you liar?! Taneli was used to don't answer on the rudeness. He knew that it's just reaction of defence.
So he answered calmly:
- Your son went to my camp and I...
- Your camp?! You wanna put your camp here? This tyrant from the east is enough to us, so go away...
- I don't need to kill you, enslaye, or something else. I'm just loking for my father, Badrang.
Not without reason Taneli thought that it will calm the otter. But when she heard Taneli's father's name in her eyes was a lot of different feelings: fear, desire to protect, resolve, hate.
- Your daddy is builgind his fortress on the east coast not for the first season. He enslaved many peaceful beasts and now lives like a king! And now get away. Get away, I said! I know you both are bastards!
Taneli nodded his gang:
- We don't need something else here. So turn off the camp.
- Mu-um! Stop him, he's a good beast...
- I told you: don't run away from me...
Taneli was waiting when his team will turn the camp off. "What a hysterical beast, - thought he about Blueyes. - It was like I killed her son and brought his body to her laughing and treating. But now at least I know why did my father went to the shore and when he's now". He still couldn't understand why do forest beasts so advocate to each other. What's so nice in this suicidal honour? This otter was absolutely ready to rush at the Taneli without any weapon! If all had gone in such way Taneli could oush one of his swords into her, So her little son could lost his mom, but for what could she die? And what's so nice about children? They're just a nasty vile squeaking creatures who always exploite you like a slave! And suddenly Taneli thought: "And what if Badrang left me and my mother because of he didn't want to hang such "strap" on his neck? If so... I can understand him!"
- We're ready to go, - said Blackpaw interrupting Taneli's empty thoughts.
Without saying even a word Taneli looked at the compass and went to the east.

4.


It was the end of a summer. More than a year ago Taneli had decided to look for his father, Badrang. End finally he reached the east coast.
Taneli looked at the arid yellow sand and bkack pointed rocks and turned back with a smile to his gang. The grueling hike hasn't past for them without a trace. Loads of the former "Slaughterer" crew died. From the slaves survived only three beasts. Some of them died because of tireness and somebody had so exhausted that only delayed everybody. Taneli ordered to give these beasts freedom but they still didn't last long.
Taneli himself was a bit wore out by this campaign, too. His fur wasn't so clean like a year ago. Swords was faded a bit because of time and looked a bit grim. Some of golden buttons from Taneli's caftan have lost other cracked and looked slovenly. The only thing that hadn't changed in him it his venturous shine in his eyes which inspired all his team.
- We've got it, mates! - said Taneli hoarsely pointing at the huge building darkening ahead. It was Marshank, the fortress of Taneli's father, Badrang.
Delighted howl of his gang was an answer to him. Taneli took both his swords:
- Let's go faster! I wanna met my father this evening...

Meanwhile in Marshank the fat stoat Tramun Clogg was passing through graves. The battle for Marshank was almost two mounths ago but the former pirate was needed loads of time to bury everyone. Above each grave was triangle-shaped rock where Tramun wrote with his glaive the name of every vulture lying there.
- Ho-ho! - said the stoat stretching. - Good morning my warriors! Ho-ho-ho!
He continued his walk through the graves speaking with a dead beasts:
- Bluehide, replase Crosstooth on his post. I think he tired a bit of duty on the wall, didn't he? And the Crosstooth today will look the kitchen! What? What a you're talking about, Boggs? Badrang again blattering something? Don't pay attention let this ranter speak about whatever he wants!
Clogg stopped his speech for a minute. Then he contunuied:
- Still he had shown to us what he can do, ho-ho! He boasted that he's the strongest and the bravest beast! And he was killed by a little mouse! So don't pay attention to Badrang, he doesn't deserves it!
Clogg went to the long house, where some time ago lived Badrang and his army, still speaking with himself. In a such way passed every day of the former pirate captain from the night when Badrang and all his army was killed by the forest beasts. - Let's have a rest, - said Tanali and sat on the smooth rock. He was still smiling.
Pirates looked a bit puzzled. What happened with Taneli? From the time when they left "Slaughterer" on the northwest coast he never suggested his gang to have a rest. Contrary, the former pirates asked him to have an even small rest. And every time when Taneli heard about it he became really angry. "We'll never find my father if you wanna stay every time!" - shouted taneli and called his mates "fat useless fools". But he calmed down quick and reluctantly allowed his gang to relax. - What happened, skipper? - asked him carefully Blackpaw. - You're in a such good mood and you've just suggested us a rest... - I'm really happy. I'm just happy that I finally reached my father's fortress. And I can't beleive that soon I'll see him. Blackpaw didn't want to ask Taneli what will he do if Badrang tell them to go away from his fortress. "I'm sure Taneli thought about it" - solved his assistant.
And Taneli was looking at the sky where clouds floated slowly. For the first time for many days he finally felt that everything's good. And nothing could change his good mood. Soon he'll come to the Badrang's fortress, speak with him, unite their powers... Together they'll be the horror of the all east coast every peacefull beast will be afraid of evet their names!..
Taneli was need to do something. So he took his swords and started to cleat them with a sand. What he saw how do they began to shine again he thought: why do he, Taneli, needs two swords. He can give one of them to Badrang as a respect. Taneli sharply imagined the future dreams of all corsairs to get one og this sword with a carwed grips shaped in a bony clawed form, how will every beast afraid of them...
When Taneli finished with cleaning the swords he looked at his gang:
- The last sput, comrades!
Te daw was growing dark, Tramun made a final go-round throught Marshank before the dream. He behaved so strange because of Badrang in a few days before his death hit Clogg's head with a lance. After this the fat stoat became a bit crazy: he always laughed and speak everything that came to his head:
- Rotnose, come to the night duty on the wall. And not let the bad pirates come here, ho-ho-ho!!!
In this moment Taneli came close to Marshank. His heart contracted when he saw charred woods and chips instead of strong oak gates.
He saw nobody on the walls.
- Maybe they're sleeping? - asked Taneli someone from his team.
- It's too early to sleep. Hell, what happened there?
Taneli felt like a poisoinous slippery snake compresses his scull. It was a loathsome feeling when every sound becomes fainter and reality feels like a bad dream. Then appeared other feeling: like Taneli of the running descended on the stone wall. He had a such feeling only one time: when he waited his old friend and then knew that he had died...
- Follow me, - told Taneli unvoiced like somebody was choking him almost an hour before. - We need to find out what's wrong here.
In Marshank was desolation. The roads which some time ago was used by many beasts owergrew with grass. Near the opposite wall was some wooden building almost destroyed by fire. The next wooden building but it better condition was in the center of Marshank's yard. Along the wall rose little hills capped with a triangle-shaped rocks. "Cemetry" - thought Taneli and started of this thought.
- Hey, skipper! - said Taneli an old pirate weasel called Longblade. - Somebody's singing in this wooden house! By the way, Taneli himself very liked to sing. He had nice voice but he hadn't at all an ear for music. But his gang always listen his songs because of loads of them didn't know anything in music.
- I'll find this singer, - promised Taneli darkly and went to the high wooden house.
Longblade didn't lie: in the house somebody was singing an old piratic song about the heavy part of a seawolf. Taneli mechanically mentioned that this house has no door, too, and went in.
- Dad, it's you? - whispered he loudly. His words was echoed immediately.
- Hu-uh? What? Who's there?
An incredibly fat stoat came out from the darkness. He hold a crab in the left paw and the bottle with a wine in the right. His clotes, a cartan, in former times not less beautiful than Taneli's one and the baggy bloomers was coveref with a dirt and tallow.
The long fatso's fur was braided in the pigtails which now looked like tow. The stoat didn't intertwine them for a long time. On his backpaws he had huge clumsy wooden clogs. They tapped with every stoat's step.
When he saw taneli, he opened his mouth surprised. "And he doesn't care about his teeth: they're so black", - thought Taneli.
He went from shock faster then the fat stoat:
- You're Badrang?
Suddenly fatty laughed:
- Ho-ho, I never knew that I look like this slobbery frog. No, my friend, I'm a captain Tramun Clogg who lost all his team and ship because of this bastard.
Tramun wiped his nonexistent tear with his braided in pigtails whiskers.
- And why do you heed him? He spited to you, too?
Taneli hated this captain Tramun Clogg. Fat and disaffected animal who laughes permanently!
- No, - said Taneli shivering from loathing. - Badrang is my father.
Clogg started a Taneli with a amazement a couple of minutes and then again laughed:
- Lost child looking for his daddy, he-he? Forgive me, brother, but you came here for nothing.
- Why?
Tramun went to the Marshank yard:
- This summer the forest beasts tired from Badrang's behaviour. He enslaved a mousy who was a son of some powerful and respected animals. So this mousy one day rand ayaw, returned with a big army - and that's all, no more Badrang! Taneli felt like someone hitted his head with a sandbag. Than he again felt the emptiness. Something cold and slippery again moved in his soul:
- What do you mean by "no more Badrang"?
- It means that they've killed your daddy, ho-ho-ho! This mousy pushed Badrang's sword into his rotten evil heart! Maybe you wanna look at Badrang's grave?
- Yes, - automatically answered Taneli and went behind Clogg. From all his speech he knew only one: his father is dead and the forest beasts are blamed in it.
Clogg led Taneli to the wall where were graves. taneli read the names of every died for Badrang's forterss which finally had got by nobody. And suddenly Tramun pushed the young stoat into his back:
- Here lies the body of your fater, mate. So, make a speeches. How cute, sonny has found his papa dead... Suddenly Taneli abruptly raised his head. The tears ran down his face but he didn't feel it. In his eyes was only pain. When he started to speak his voice was cold loke a December night:
- You have no right to say such things about me and my father, you fat bastard!
Taneli took both his swords what he did not really often. He exposed his frontpays in the way where the fat stoat was between the blades. Clogg numb understanding what Taneli wanted to do.
- Hey, brother, I told this not with malice...
Taneli arbuptly crossed his paws. He wanted to cut the fat stoat in a halfs but he couldn't do it. He just injured Clogg so he fell on the grass. Some time Taneli looked at him and then he felt a new emotion.
Hatred. Intense hatred which blackened with itself everything. In a fit of this hatred taneli rushed at Clogg like a vortex shouting curses with an anger. He even didn't noticed that he had ripped Clogg's stomach. He wanted to splash his hate, pain and anger.
Soon Taneli stopped. Intence hatred went away and left after itself an emptiness that nothing could fill. The strong influxe of anger, experiences, lost Taneli's main dream in the life and his congenital hot blood done their dirty deed. Taneli's mind clouded forever.
Taneli felt severe weakness. He felt on his knees on Badrang's grave and started to talk calmly with his dead father:
- If only I knew that it will be so, dad... if only... forgive me, forgive, forgive!!!
Meanwhile Taneli's gang camped in Marshank. Longblade and Blackpaw looked at their once health-minded captain with a pity and incomprehension.
- How he could became so upset because of the one he never knew... - told Blackpaw.
- I'm afraid he's not "upset". - mournfully replied Longblade. - He never becomes Taneli we all knew.
Longblabe was right. Taneli was sitting on Badrang's grave for two weeks. He just calmly speoke with him but sometimes Taneli felt really bad. then he started to cry, roll on the groung and scratch the earth. His gang was absolutely convinced that they'll never see Taneli as clever, a bit sly and hot-blooded but clear-minded captain.

5.



Former "Slaughterer" crew was almost admitted that they'll stay in Marshank. It didn't oppress them. In cellars the've found loads of food and they could always start walking on the fields if they finish. Ang in general the devastation in Marshank wasn't so awful. Former pirates needed just to repair the living house. It was only one problem: Taneli who was sitting on Badrang's grave for a not a first week and whispered something in his insanity.
Blackpaw and Longblade who became like a chiefs to other pirates were in their own marquee and looked at the plan of repairing Marshank:
- So, it's not so bad. We need to build walls and...
- We won't set this fortress to rights! - told somebody by a rasping voice.
Rat and weasel turned. Near the entrance on a marquee was Taneli. His knees was stil in earth eyes was red from tears, fur became dim and rare. Stoat was very gaunt. His eyes were shining but it wasn't flame which inspired every beast following him. It was a fire of insanity which could destroy all.
- Taneli? You decided to come back! Oh seas I thought you wanna spend all your life on Badrang's grave! - told Blackpaw out of turn.
- Don't touch my pain spot! - shouted Taneli. - Tell everybody to turn the camp. We're leaving Marshank right now! Longblade looled at his captain:
- Whaе do you wanna do?
Taneli started to tell his thought with an anger:
- Forest bastards have killed my father. And I can't forgive it them. I can't! We'll move to the west and we'll kill everybody we'll see! Women, children, old beasts - I won't spare anybody like they didn't spare Badrang and me!
- Taneli, maybe it's easier to find who's guilty? Why do take vengeance on everyone?
Stoat grinned askant:
- They're all guilty. All! Kill the leftover slaves!
- They're guilty, too? - asked Longblade derisively.
- If I said that everyone is guilty it means that everyone is guilty! Don't argue with me! - finished Taneli and went away of marquee.
Blackpaw looked at Longblade. He have nothing to do exept obediense their captain.
- May he recover? - asked quitely Blackpaw.
- Don't know. I can give him some herbs for making him sleep more often, but I'm afraid it'll weaken him. And noting can heal mind.
Meanwhile Taneli was in the center of Marshank. All his gang looked at him surprized how did he changed.
- We can't just forget about it! Forest bastards challenged us - and I'm taking this challenge! Now we'l leave my poor father's fortress and go to the west. And those who'l stay on our way will regret about it! Kill everybody without any pity! - told Taneli and fell on his knees.
Pirates started to take away the camp. They didn't want to leave the fortress which became home for them.
- Why do we need to go away? We could repair Marshank and Taneli could reign here instear of his father...
- It looks like he completely lost his mind.
- He cries, then he wanted to kill anybory and then - speaks with himself. I think, he's real franatic.
Taneli didn't hear it. He was sitting on the sand useless and couldn't feel the reality. He streched out his paw and took the herb.
With his thin paws he started to rumple it. His lips whispered something soudlessly. Suddenly Taneli took the knackered herb to his eyes. Wher he saw torn and battered herd he again felt tears on his eyes.
Longblade saw Taneli and came closer to him. He was a bit afraid that Taneli could rush and push at him one of his blades. Mad beasts always was strong abd Taneli himself never was dweeb. But Taneli didn't rush at Longblade. Still looking at the herb he told:
- Look, autumn it here. The year's going away like my life...
Longblade couldn't hear Taneli's voice. It was too rasping: like a rust sword scratching on the rust metal. But he knew: Taneli couldn't do anything with it. And stoat still continued telling nonsense:
- What can life else give to me? I lost everything, everything... I hate myself!
Longblade was scared and tried to run away. But Taneli ordered:
- Come back!
Make sure that the weasel was near him Taneli continued:
- Why I can't turn back time? Why I was suck a fool all my life? What I was doing? Ah, I've played in the pirates! And my father built his fortress and died because of this forest bastards...
Longblade was just nodding his head. "If only he came down" - thought old pirate. But suddrenly Taneli took him for breast:
- You think I'm crazy?!
- No, Taneli, why did you think so?
Taneli smiled askant again:
- I can see thruogh all of you sea rubbish. But I'm normal. No, I didn't lost my mind. I just wanna vengeance. You understand?
"He's really crazy, - thought Longblade. - Only mental will do like this and thet tell that he's absolutely normal".
- I'm normal! - told Taneli. - It's you're mentals, not me! You're mentals, I'm normal!
Suddenly old pirate felt sorry for his captain. Darkening of mind is cruel illness. If only Taneli was not so hot blooded, if only he hadn't his dream of meeting Badrang as a sence of his life and if he hadn't met another mental - Clogg who just addad the fuel to fire, the young stoat would never lost his mind!
Taneli rose abruplly from the ground and went to Marshank's gate. He looked at the last time on a fortress which became a grave to badrang and his army and could became Taneli's outpost of forest beasts' genocide and went to the beach.

6.


After this heavy for Taneli summer was not less bad autumn and then the winter began. Not for the first mounth Taneli and the rest of his gang went through the winter forest.They even didn't know that they're going not on the west but on the southwest. More than a half of his gang Taneli killed in his fits of rage. Only four beasts was still with him: Blackpaw, Longblade and two rats Onear and Whiskerwhite. Till the moment when they left Marshank Longblade was tired to cure Taneli from his madness amain. But it was completely senceless: taneli still was dementedю And he's got another poor: his health became very bad. He often ill because of high temperature sometimes he had ravings. But he still was strong.
Taneli didn't forget about his wish to vengeance to all forest beast. But nobody of this gang never tried to help him in this senceless actions because Taneli himself when he was clear-minded told: "It has no sence to have unwanted victims. We need loot, not blood". From the end of a summer Taneli himself killed many families of peaceful farmers. He was killing children in front of their crying parents, grided old beasts with his swords, lord it helpless beasts saying: "So, how do you feel without an army behind you, bastards? Bad? My father felt bad, too, but you didn't spare him. It's a vengeance for you bastards!!!" It was useless to say Taneli that he's killing innicent beasts. Everyone who even tried to speak with him on it, Taneli killed. Stoat very often went somewhere alote and thet turned back with his hands covered with blood. It meant only one: Taneli didn't want his team to prevent him from his "vengeance". This morning he again went somewhere without saying even a word to somebody.
Atran, the big hedgehog, calmly walked on the forest trope. He wanted to find a good glade for two his sons and daughter. Atran many times have promiced his children to play with them to play snowballs and built snow fortress, but he always hadn't enough time for it. And later he wanna went to Loamhedge to see Germine and her mice...
Meantime somebody ckocked in the Atran's home when were his wife Clove and three her children.
- I'll open the door, mum! - squeaked a little hedgehog. - It's daddy!
But when he openet the door he numb. It wasn't Atran. It was young stoat. His winter white fur became grew because of dirt and matted. Some time ago this beact looked nice, but now he wasn't. His tunic and caftan turned into untidy rag. Stoat's eyes shined with a fire of insanity. In his paw he had a sword with a carved grip and turmaline on the top of it. Without saying even a word he rushed at little hedgehog and transpierced him. Clove couldn't say nothing: it happened very quick.
And stranger flunt a little body away from him and went to the rest hedgehogs.
- Please, don't kill us! - Clove pleaded. - What we've done?
Suddenly she remembered stories of other beasts whoes families had such sorrow. Nobody knwe where did this strange stoat came from and what aims he chases by killing farmers and forest beasts. He never robbed houses of killed. Beasts told that he's mental and other's sufferings gratifyed him. It was no hope to indulgence from a such beast.
Taneli looked with an anger to shaking with fear hedgehog and two rest her children.
- You live with a clildren, thing? With a children... They've got loving mom and dad, big house... right?
Clove kept silent while listening stoat's rasping voice.
- And I have nobody and nothing. Everybody hates me, everybody! The only normal beast in this world was my father. And you killed him. You hadn't let me to even just see him! You've robbed my ship and team! I hate all of you!!!
Taneli shouted the last and took his second sword. He rose them above hedgehog's heads and unleashed of their hears.
Taneli respired and went away from hedgehog's home. But suddenly Atran who turned back blocked him a road:
- Who are you and what did you do in my house?
Taneli felt anger again. Another forest beast! Where do this bastards just coming from?!
Atran really didn't understand who's this strange stoat and what did he need. But suddenly Atran saw that stoat's hilding swords covered with blood. Hedgehog gasped from fear of understanding what happened:
- You killed my family...
Taneli started to speak. He had sore throat so his rasping voice became worse:
- Yeah, - tond he and smiled his scary bent smile. - What else I can do with those who deprived me my father? What I must do with Badrang's murderers?
Atran shaked his head. What he's talking about? What father?
- We never heard about your Badrang. So calm down.
But it didn't make Taneli stop:
- Never heard? And why do you know his name? Don't lie to me, it's useless!
Old hedhehog sigh. Every young beast is hot blooded but this stoat crossed all the lines...
- You called your father's name right now. I never heard such a name before: Badrang. And my wife and the more my children didn't know about him, too!
This morning Longblade was completely tired of of such Taneli's antics. He took with him the rest of Tanelu's gang and went behind him. And all this time they was waching Taneli and Atran argieing. Longblade thought that it's enough to wait and went away from bushes.
Atran saw the old pirate and bristled:
- Another vulture? I'm tired from all of you!
- Please, forgive us, - told Longblade calmly. - It's harder that you may think. Taneli all his life was hot-blooded. And now, I'm afraid, this his strain became stronger.
UNder two rat's supervise Taneli went to the camp which consisted only of fireplace. Former pirates just couldn't carry their marquees anymore.
- He's a mental! - told Atran.
- Yes. I just didn't want to tell it where he was near. Mentals are strong and Taneli himself never was weak.
- And what the nonsence he was talking here? Like "you've killed my fater"...
- Unfortunately it's not nonsence. - Let's sit, - suggested Longblade, - it's a long story. We were a pirates and sailed on a ship called "Slaughterer" till Taneli met one of his old friends who told him about Badrang...
While listening a bit confused story of an old pirate Atran tiptoe wipped his tear. "Poor Taneli, - he thought, - it's hard to not become mental in his situation. But even more sorry I feel for his mates. They've got such grit".
Meanwhile in the camp Taneli sat near fire and looked on a flame.
- I'll never have children, - he told with a sorrow. - And do you know, why?
Blackpaw was tired of Taneli's rave. But he didn't want to argue mental back:
- Why? - I don't wanna them sorrow as I had. I don't want them trying to find me and after all coming to my grave. It's better to die alone.
Taneli looked at the nightly sky with his shining eyes:
- Oh, dad... why I didn't die when I came to you? Why I'm still alive? What I've done to deserve this?!
Taneli's talks to himself was dangerous because he always lost his mind in it. But Blackpaw, Onear and Whiskerwhite was happy for the first time in many days. Yes, they didn't save this hedgehog's family from taneli but they saved a hedgehog! Now they needed just to wait Longblade.
Weasel pirate came back lately. He hold many parchment scrolls. Longblade looked at the camp and asked:
- Where's Taneli?
- Sleeping, - said Onear quietly.
Longblade smiled:
- Allright. I spoke with this hedgehog and I've got an idea. Not so far from there is a mouse abbey, Loamhedge. This hedgehog said that its prioress is very kind and clever mouse. And they must have a doctor. I think Taneli will be better in this abbey.
- And what's about us? We'll stay in this abbey, too? No, with Taneli is funny.
- "Funny". Don't know what's about you but I can't sleep because I know that near me is mental who kan always push one of his beautiful blades into me or cut my head off.
Onear scratched his head:
- But where we'll have to go?
- Don't know. We may come back into Badrang's fortress and live here as we all wanted. Yes, I know, it's far. But im'm sure we can do it.
This night Longblade slept bad. Still, Taneli was his frieng and sometimes old pirate miss him. Longblade betweentimes waited that this morning Taneli will wake up look at his mates with his a bit sly but clever eyes and tell: "Forgive me, i was fool". Of course the rest of his gang would forgive him and went with him anywhere he wanted. But it was just a dreams. Nothing could cure insanity.
Taneli woke up in the middle of night. He was surprized when he realized that he didn't want more to kill anyone. He understood what he's dome. For all his victims he was like this little mouse to Badrang. He fairly equated himself to executors.
Taneli looked at smoldering woods and whispered:
- There's no turning back anymore... Dad... if you hear me take me with you. Do you hear? I have nothing to do here. Please... help me...
Next morning everyone was woken up by Taneli's bawl.
- We won't avenge to everyone anymore!
Longblade quickly rubbed his eyes and sat to the snow. If it's dream? Taneli wants to finish this crazy genicide for nothing? It's inpossible! Did he recovered? Longblade went to Taneli and asked:
- And what do you wanna do? I suggest...
Suddenly Taneli lay to the snow:
- Do everything you want. I'm unworthy to be your captain. I deserve only death!
"No, - thought Longblage, - he hadn't recovered. His insanity just changed its form. If before now he hated everybody than now he hates himself".
- Listen to me, Taneli, - started he carefully, - not so far from there is a large abbey. There lives mice, suirrels, otters, moles... forest beasts, in general. We think that for you will be better to stay with them. And we'll go to your father's fortress.
Weasel pirate expected the anger. "You wanna get rid of me?!" - could start to shout Taneli. But he still was calm and this scared Longblade strongly.
- If it will be better for you - do it. Don't ask me, who needs an opinion of such an ridiculous beast like me? - told Taneli and weasel saw tear running down his face.
All thw way Taneli was calm. He even didn't look around. Young stoat just sadly trailed behind the beasts whom some time ago he shouted:
"Go faster, we need to reach east coast for the summer!"

7.


- There are some beasts near the gateway, mother Germine! - cried a little squirrel called Fluffy. - They said that they wanna speak personally with you!
Old mouse put her tiny glasses and got up from her armchair:
- Tell them that I'm going down!
Old mouse lady started to calmly went down the stairs. Beasts usually often visited Loamhedge but this winter which abbey's inhabitants called "The Winter of Snowfalls" was fever which already have killed some bests. And the visitors seldom wanted to speak only with Germine.
- There are three rats, weasel and stoat! - told Fluffy when she saw Germine on the Loamhedge's yard.
- Don't be afraid. We'll know what do they need. Open the doors.
Weasel went to the yard first. He was holding stoat's paw when he started to speak:
- Err.. sorry, mother...
- Germine, - suggested Fluffy to him.
Longblade cheered:
- So, mother Germine. We have some little please to you. Do you see stoat? It's Taneli, my friend and a captain in former times. At the end of this summer mishap happened to him: his father was killed. After this Taneli... err... lost his mind. We wanna go to the east and we afraid that he won't outlive this pass, - lied a bit weasel. - Can you take him to your amazing abbey?
Germine started to ruminate. On the one hand she was very kind mouse. And she felt sorry for Taneli, this beated-up stoat with a sad eyes. And on the another was a fever in a Loamhedge. How many time will Taneli last long?
- Emm...
- Ah, I forgot to introduce myself: Longblade.
- Thank you. Longblade, we've got a fever in our abbey. You can lost your friend forever.
Longblade carefully bent to an old mouse's ear:
- Between us, he won't last long. He's not just a mental, he's got this fever, too. And for a long time. I forgot to tell you that I don't wanna see my olf friend dying. Please, take him.
Mental! This word scared Germine. Mental can do everything. So is it worth to rick taking him?
- And how expresses his... insanity? He could attack the beast?
Longblade thought. Must he tell that some time ago Taneli was cruelly killing innocent beasts?
"No, - he decided. - It in the past. Now he changed".
- Don't think that he could harm any beast living here. He... he just sometimes talking with himself and sometimes to his hallucinations. His friends... his father Badrang. And he behaves quite. Excessively quite.
Germine sigh with relief. Calm psycho with just a hallusinations is better than agressive mental.
- So we'll take him.
Longblade looked at Taneli who all this time was staying with cold face.
- That's all, skipper. Our roads are diverging here. We'll go to Marshank, and I with you good luck in this abbey.
- Farewell, Taneli! - souted him Blackpaw going into forest.
Taneli was looking behind them with a sorrow. And just Fluffy's voice led him to his sences:
- Let's have a dinner? We've got brilliant kitheners!
- Everyone revent their eyes from me. Everyone, - summed Taneli.
In the abbey was warm. Many mice, moles, hedgehods were sitting at the long tables and eating borsch with a bread.
- Taneli, - Germine asked stoat pointing on his swords criss-cross bounded on hic back, - I can understand that this swords can be important for you as a memory. But here's a peaceful plase. So, please, remove them.
- You're doing this deliberately? You wanna deprive me of the less important for me things which I still have? - replied muurnfully Taneli.
- No! We just don't want you to walk around with them everywhere. You can leave them in your bedroom, nobody asks you to give your swords to somebody forever!
Taneli sat at the table blankly. He underfed, but he didn't want to eat at all. His own sorrow and chilling desolation replaced him food, water and communication.
Fluffy suddenly jumped to her new acquaintance:
- Is our food not tasty? Please, Taneli, eat, don't be afraid! If you sit like this you'll make upset everybody: prioress, kitcheners and all of us!
- Make upset? And I can't do anything else. Everything I can is damage other beats' nerves. Beasts like me should be killed. Squirrel stumble horrified:
- You're talking horrible things!
- It's what's life like, - told Taneli by a cold voice. - I'm glad that you don't know how hard this life could be and I hope you'll never know it. I'm no-go variant. I hate myself for wasting your time.
Fluffy went away from Taneli. If she hadn't known that this beast is completely mental she could hit him between his ears by soup ladle. How he can even think such things about himself?!
"I wonder, before he went daft, he hated himself, still? Or this came to him recently?" - thought Fluffy. Meanwhile Taneli got up from the table ant went to the stairs. Fluffy immidiately ran to him:
- Taneli! Where you want to go?
- In my bedroom, - told stoat voicelessly. - I wanna to be alone.
Squirrel smiled with sympathy:
- You din't know where are our bedrooms!
- So what? If I go somewhere no beast can go, so I'll be killed for this. I don't feel sorry for myself. I feel sorry only for those who will dirty their paws for such offal like me.
Fluffy took Taneli's paw. Her heart contracted from remorse for former pirate. Taneli's paw was cold and lean, barren skin hang from it by flabby folds. It felt like all Taneli was bones and skin.
- Taneli! Nobody will kill you here!~And we haven't secret places where nobody's allowed to come. We just don't want you to set into somebody's room...
- It's bad that you won't kill me. I must be killed even in autumn when all my gang was alive. What a fool I am: I killed all of them for nothing. So I can understand why nobody wants me to be in his room. Who wounld like the stupin amd mental slayer?
- I though! - told sqirrel strongly. - And stop this self-depreciation! Let's go, I'll show your bedroom.
In the Loamhedge all bedrooms were spacious. On the windows were white curtains, on the floor was footworn but still good carpet.
It was one single bed in the bedroom. Over the bedding was green veil. Near the wall was chair and table. On the table were a stack of parchment and an inkwell with a pen.
- You'll live here, Taneli, - told Fluffy. - And don't forget to remove her swords. Germine asked you.
As Taneli remembered his swords as their sheath were on his back. And now he for the first time for many seasons he untied them and put them on a table. Taneli felt because on this pain again: for him it was like tore a part of his own soul.
- How's he? - askeg Germine Fluffy calmly.
- Bad. He always talking about his own inutility and that he wants to die...
Germine smiled sadly:
- Don't worry, he'll recover. Just don't pay attention on his words. I promice, I'll try to do eyerything I can to help him.
- Thank you, mother, - said squirrel.

8.


The most nicest winter holiday, The Middle Day of Winter, was approaching. Every beast in Loamhedge helped as they could to prepare abbey for this high day. Some beasts helped the kitheners to cook tasty things and salades, others was making up the rooms or decorated abbey. In the Loamhedge's yars were children who with a joyful squeals played slowballs and other winter games. Only Taneli haven't felt this holiday climate. He was feeling worse and worse with an each day. He almost haven't slept and his dream was hectic. Increasingly he imagined his dead friends or affairs of bygone days. Every morning he sat in the corner of his bedroom and started to talk calmly to imaginary beasts - with Badrang, then Blackpaw and Longblade, then Tailless. But besides mental illness, fever undermined him almost completely. Taneli didn't remember how is it - to live without sore throat which sometimes doesn't allow to say even a word and without this heat from which even cold winer air didn't help. This morning Taneli was again sitting in his corner. It seemed for him that he's standing near his father, Badrang. Taneli always imagined him very simular to him. Even with more dark fur.
- Dad... when will I go away from here?
- Soon, - he heard.
Meanwhile downstairs squirrel Fluffy licked cream from her fingers:
- Oh, this cakes is really tasty, but I don't like when cream sticks on my fingers!
The lead kithener, fat vole Miranda, smiled:
- Who likes it, my darling? But we all like your cakes. So your sufferings are worth something!
- I hope so, - smiled Fluffy.
Some time vole and squirrel were keeping silence. But then Miranda asked her young friend:
- In the latter days you're like not yourself. What happened? Maybe together we'll solve your problem?
Fluffy stumbled:
- It's all this stoat, Taneli. Now I can see what have his illness done to him. He don't notice anybody. Just sitting in his room and speaking to himself... I feel creepy when I see it.
- Oh, Fluffy, don't bother about it! This Taneli is just a madcap. Even Plantain our doctor told: your Taneli won't last long for spring. Nay he's got his "roof" on the one side - he's got a fever and weak health! So don't think about Taneli. Do you remember what he wanted when he just came here?
- Yes... He was talking every time that he's worthless and he wanna die... - remembered Fluffy.
- Yes! He wanted to die - so let him get what he wanted. No, if he recovers - then thanks, Seasons, but... I hardly beleive in it.
Suddenly Fluffy felt like her eyes finally saw the truth. Nobody needed the poor stoat who had many ilnesses even at young age.
Even mother Germine don't trying to help him! Squirrel understood that all the stories about kindness and help to every beast in Loamhedge is just a simple lie. And Taneli is a proof of it. All beasts in Loamhedge who really feel sorry for him - it's she, Fluffy. And because of this she wanted to cry.
- Miranda, - told she, - may I bring a food to him? He hasn't eaten anything for three days...
Vole shrugged:
- No problem. But come back faster, cakes won't wait for you.
Squirrel made a simple breakfast for Taneli and started to go upstairs. And in her soul rose a hesistance in honesty of abbey's inhabitants. Who needs this empty words about kindness if all the beasts don't behave this way? Maybe it's better to talk about this with Germine? Ah, silly Fluffy, the prioress won't even listen to you!
Through shroud of delusion Taneli saw that the door opened.
- Wait, Longblade, - he told to his figment of the sick imagination, - I wanna to know who's it.
Weasel didn't answer anything. Fluffy with salver with food went in:
- Good morning, Taneli, - she said sadly. - I brought you some food.
Stoat pushed salver lightly:
- Thanx, mom, but I'm fed. It's better to you to eat this fod: you're so thin. And I'll come later, we've got some problem here.
Longblade wants to invite this fatso Tramun Clogg for a dinner, understand?
- U... understand, - murmured squirrel and tears ran down her face. Taneli doesn't recognize anybody. Some time ago she was glad that he called her by name: Fluffy. She hoped that together they could get away from this hell, together they can do everithing!
But disease was stronger than Taneli. And he was still talking:
- Mom, do you remember what beast was Badrang? Tell me about him. But... wait! You aren't my mother!
Fluffy smiled through tears:
- Yes, Taneli, I'm not your mother. Do you recognize me? I'm Fluffy, your friend from Loamhedge!
Taneli grimaced. "he's trying to smile, certainly" - thought squirrel.
- Yes... but do you come to us in the Marshank for a dinner? There will be all: my team, my father. I just don't know where's my mom...
Fluffy shaked him by his shoulders:
- Wake up, Taneli! You're not in your father's fortress, you're in Loamhedge! Don't know, mayde it's heavy to you to think about that but it's reality! You're raving, wake up, please!
A bit bleared Taneli's eyes looked with bewilderment:
- Hu-uh? What are you talking about?
Squirrel couldn't see this anymore. She wept and ran to the stairs. And Taneli still was talking:
- Dad, what do you want for dinner? The seagull's leg or trout with sauce?
Miranda saw crying squirrel and asked concerned:

- What happened? This madcap has offended you?
- No, Miranda. I just can't I can't see anymore what he became. I'm trying to help him, to clear his mind of this shroud of delusion, but it's all impossible! Please, ask Plantain to help him!
Fat vole hugged the squirrel with sympathy:
- Plantain did everything he could. I'm sorry, Fluffy, but nobody can heal the mind diseases. So, let's forget about him and continue cooking!
But the squirrel was going to the door.
- Where do you go?
- I need to think about all this for some time, - told Fluffy.
Vole kitchener sigh and continued kneading dough. "Oh this Taneli, - thought she. - He made himself a mental and now he spoils life to other beasts".

9.


It was the last night before The Middle Day of Winter. In the Loamhedge beasts have prepared all the dished, all the games. Abbey's inhabitants were sleeping and waiting the coming holiday.
Taneli slept restlessly. He dreamed that he's on the "Slaughterer" desk and he's angry on Onear whi couldn't tell where they're exactly. Suddenly someone touched Taneli's shoulder and told:
- Look at me, my son!
Taneli turned.
It was his father. He wasn't the same as taneli imagined him. Strong grey stoat with an eyes shining with domination. His clothes were light-grey tunic and blue cape wawing on the wind. In his hand Badrang hold the sword which had convex grip with twirls and on the grip's top was big bloodred stone.
- Father... - told Taneli hesitantly. - Is it really you?
"Is re really looked... so? Oh Seasons, how far was my conception of him from the truth!"
Badrang beckoned Taneli:
- We'll meet soon, Taneli, - told he. - And now - wake up!
Taneli opened his eyes in the cold sweat. He was lying on his bed and the suddenly bright light of moon was shining throught the window. But there was one more thing which surprized Taneli. First time for a long days his mind was clear like in the day when he decided to look for Badrang!
But then he felt another things. Taneli understood how did the last seasons laid upon him. He felt weakness in his paws, head was too heavy. Stoat felt the heat. Although his isanity went away but the fever - not.
"We'll meet soon" - remembered he Badrang's words. And now young stoat understood what he really meant. This night must be the last one in Taneli's life.
Taneli dressed up and went to the table where were his sneath with swords. By a long forgotten movement Taneli started to fix them on his bag. All suddenly became more comfortable.
Taneli had a last look on the room when he spent his last days. And suddenly he saw pen and ink. He dipped his pen into ink and started to write something on the parchment.
Stoat finished his suicide note, put it under the inkwell and silently started to went downstairs inwardly saying goodbye to each Loamhedge inhabitant and asking forgiveness for their spoilt holiday. He went by eatery where were treats. He wanted to eat for a last time but he hold himself from it. Still he left after him no good, so why do make everything worse?
Taneli moved bold and went to the yard. He inspired cold winter air. His fur started to freeze like in this far day when he arrived to the northwest coast. Taneli went away from the abbey's stairs and slarted to look at everything trying to remember every piece of the Loamhedge and the surrounding forest.
Suddenly Taneli turned. Behind him he saw loads of different beasts: from his friends since the time when he was a pirate and slaves to some farmer beasts killed by him in his insanity. Ahead all of them was taneli's father, Badrang.
Taneli calmly smiled to dead. He knew how he'll commit a suicide. He Took one of his swords from snatch and turned its blade to his own chest:
- Forgive me, - said Taneli. - And wait for me, father. I'll see you soon.
After saying this Taneli inspired deeply and with all his might pushed the blade into his own heart. Taneli's eyes immidiately covered with shroud of death, the last exhalation went away from his chest. So Taneli finally implemented his dream: he met Badrang.
- Wake up! - cried Miranda early in the day. - It's The Middle Day of Winter!
Abbey's inhabitants happily went away from their bedrooms. Traditionally the holiday began from the breakfast which included different dished. Almost of them was too caloric and that's why it wasn't allowed in usual days in great numbers.
Fluffy was sitting between two her friends and thought: "I should bring to Taneli the most tasty things. I ll bring him my cake, amazing Miranda's pies and perry! I wish he'll like this."
But when she went away from the table Germine and Miranda came to her. Both were sad:
- Fluffy, dear... Just be strong, - said Miranda wiping her tears.
Squirrel felt scared:
- What happened?
Prioress took her hand and went to the yard:
- Your friend... or not friend, I even don't know whom he was to you... Taneli...
- What? What happened to him?
Germine looked at the squirrel sadly:
- Let's go. You'll se everything by her eyes.
Fluffy couldn't hold her tears when she saw a dead body of mental stoat. He was smiled - yes, it was a smile, not this scary grimace with which he always welcomed her. In his blackened eyes was stillness. On his back was his criss-cross bound swords, his leal blades. The first sword was in its steath. The second taneli pushed into his own heart.
- Why? Why did he do it? - said Fluffy.
- Don't know, - tolf mournfully the prioress. Fluffy, could you, please, make up his room?
- Of course! - told she running upstairs in the room which passed Taneli's last days.
The room was almost made up. It all looked like Taneli's mind before death became cleaned and he knew what he's doing.
- Oh, Taneli, Taneli... - said the squirrel bitterly. - If only I knew what made you to do this...
And suddenlu she saw a piece of parchment under the inkwell which something was written. Squirrel took it and started to read mental stoat's suicide note:
"I don't know who are you and I'll never know it. But uf you read it - it means that I'm no longer alive. I leave it only to explain my immmoral step to the Loamhedge beasts.
I knwe: I always was a drag to all of you. And I can understand, why. Who needs mentan and sick beast who always speaking with himself of moaning about his own worthless? I'm glad for you just sustaided me till the end. Thank you.
In my life I once and again lost everything that was a sence of my life. Mother. Friends. Father. Exactly Badrang's death made me mental. Now, when I completely clear-minded, I can see what I've done. I was chasiong ghosts of the past and forgot about real life. My blame is in that I've killed many innocent beasts and almost all my gang wroth on the whole world. Then I lost my friends for the second time: Longblade, Blackpaw, Onear and Whiskerwhite just got rid of me. Who needs a mental? The rest of it you know. This night I've decided that I'll be gone from this world like my father. One of the forest beqasts pushed the blade into his heart - and I'll kill myself by pushing my blade into heart, too. Forgive me for killing miself in your abbey. I just have another dream: to be buried here and forever enjuy this nature and your company.
And thank you, Fluffy the squirrel. Thank you for trying to help me. I don't know how will your fate but I wish you happiness with all my heart. Remember me and never lose everything for something unattainable. If Dark Forest exsists - I'll be watching and helping you from its gate with all I can do.
PS: yes, it's too large. But I've got no time. I don't wanna anybody to see me griding myself with my own sword - it'll be too unpleasant. Thank you and forgive me.
Taneli. "
Squirrel looked at the down righ corner of parchment. There was bizarre sign: two criss-crossed swords with a carved grips and ornate "T" letter to the fore.





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